Post by x___acrossthemoor on May 8, 2009 16:27:16 GMT -6
She was alone in this terrible land, she always had been. There had never been a person she loved who wanted her in return, or for that matter, someone who wanted her that she loved back. Everything in her life had been so horribly mistimed from the moment she was born. Her mother had never wanted her to live, never wanted her to exist, to just be a forgotten little mistake. How many times could Chandra hear her mothers whisper, "I took herbs, you know, abortive herbs to kill your wretched soul. And it never stopped you, you whore. You never died, never fucking died"? Did they not haunt her almost every day, lingering in her mind in that charming little way that they did. And if it wasn't that, there were a million others for her mother to taunt her with. But of course, the girl never did blame her mother. She understood her, understood her hate. There was fear under it, because Chandra was so much like her. Cassie, though, Cassie was perfect.
That didn't matter, though, now did it. No, nothing should matter now, right? I've moved on, I'm a better person now, a smarter woman than either of those shallow little girls could ever expect or desire to be. I'm going to do something great, I'm not going to leave, right? I'm not going to escape back to that lonely brothel I call a home. She wanted the words to be true, begged for them to be true while Dmitri's words ruffled agaisnt her face, her pretty little mouth pouting in that way she was used to holding it in. I do everything, everything to allure men, and yet, what is it that I do for myself? Oh I kill them, yes, but how much effect does that have on me anymore? It's been fading, that lust, for a long time now, and I should know that.
Her body stayed still, while his hands slipped away from her, the warmth from his body leaving hers. There was nothing caring about that touch, nothing that lusted for her and tried to be sweet about it. The grasp seemed to have no ulterior motive to it, no hidden desire to throw her agaisnt that clean, modest bed she kept in that humble little shack of hers. And that roughness of that grasp, the toughness of it all made her even more want the man. Always, there had been men who resisted her siren demeanor, who claimed to love a women, in some far off land, who only stopped by for some food, and oh, didn't she admire them. But they were just men, foolish men. Men that could be allured when she pouted and begged and got them drunk. Those foolish men who forgot about those they tried to stay to pure for the moment she slipped off her dress, her mouth trembling with almost-glee. They didn't know why, they never could figure it out.
But of course, Dmitri wouldn't just fade like that, he wasn't weak, he never was or would be. Around her anyway. And while it bothered and tormented her to know end, the taunt of it allured her like nothing else. Chandra knew that she was a horrible actor, at these things at least, and hiding it was foolish, but not near as stupid as admitting it to him. So as she smoothed out her long, golden hair, she bore her eyes into his, in a steady, calm stare. A stare that was supposed be emotionaless, if conveying any emotion at all, that of irritation. The night grew darker now, dusk sweeping across the sky, stars dimly trying to burst out of the darkening sky, through the forest trees. A chill had come into the air, slight, but prevelant. Chandra crossed her arms, running her fingers across the chills that burst up on them.
"We should go. Back to camp, that is." Her voice was slightly dull, and anticlamantic in spite of her last outburst. "I mean, the others will be missing us, making up nasty little rumours about us, yes? And I know you would just loathe that so much." Her voice hid whatever excitement she held inside of her, from his words, killing anything, any tone in her voice she might have. Any given speck of emotion she let out could burst, and explode. Give him more to mock. Oh you love that, though, you love that. I came into this horrible affair saying I would not not showmy true personality, my lying personality. But I shouldn't lie to myself, it goes deeper than that, so much deeper. The only time I ever feel truley with myself is when I am slaughtering them, that cold dark pleasure. That was when the girl exposed her true self, the dark, soul-less creature that she was. The one that's graceful walk turned even more smooth and thourough, that stood with such confidence and thingyiness that it seemed as though she could go out into the world with her killing. Whose smooth voice because icier, just like those light blue eyes that fixated on whatever victim fell upon her.
This prescence she had grew in size, her natural form becoming her when the blood washed agaisnt her naked breasts and stomach, splashed across that pretty, changing face. The form that she often hid from others, the one that she vowed never to show anyone again. It was the face she was born into, the skin she wore when her mother scolded her. And, it was, of course, the appearence she had when her first man fell upon her, wheh he took her childhood away. It was, in fact, that very day when she vowed to never, ever have any living form see that face again. It had just caused her enough trouble already.
The faces she wore were pretty, beautiful, graceful, and they would content men forever. So there would never be any need for it to returned. Chandra fixed her cold, icy eyes on Dmitri, her past rearing up in her mind. Not now, my lamb. You're truthful form isn't right for anyone to see. That form is dangerous. Don't you know that by now? Oh, no. She wouldn't reveal it, just yet.
Because as shallow as the girl was, she knew it wasn't the skin that hurt people, it was the way she trained herself to act with it.
- - -
OOC:// I am so sorry. >>
That didn't matter, though, now did it. No, nothing should matter now, right? I've moved on, I'm a better person now, a smarter woman than either of those shallow little girls could ever expect or desire to be. I'm going to do something great, I'm not going to leave, right? I'm not going to escape back to that lonely brothel I call a home. She wanted the words to be true, begged for them to be true while Dmitri's words ruffled agaisnt her face, her pretty little mouth pouting in that way she was used to holding it in. I do everything, everything to allure men, and yet, what is it that I do for myself? Oh I kill them, yes, but how much effect does that have on me anymore? It's been fading, that lust, for a long time now, and I should know that.
Her body stayed still, while his hands slipped away from her, the warmth from his body leaving hers. There was nothing caring about that touch, nothing that lusted for her and tried to be sweet about it. The grasp seemed to have no ulterior motive to it, no hidden desire to throw her agaisnt that clean, modest bed she kept in that humble little shack of hers. And that roughness of that grasp, the toughness of it all made her even more want the man. Always, there had been men who resisted her siren demeanor, who claimed to love a women, in some far off land, who only stopped by for some food, and oh, didn't she admire them. But they were just men, foolish men. Men that could be allured when she pouted and begged and got them drunk. Those foolish men who forgot about those they tried to stay to pure for the moment she slipped off her dress, her mouth trembling with almost-glee. They didn't know why, they never could figure it out.
But of course, Dmitri wouldn't just fade like that, he wasn't weak, he never was or would be. Around her anyway. And while it bothered and tormented her to know end, the taunt of it allured her like nothing else. Chandra knew that she was a horrible actor, at these things at least, and hiding it was foolish, but not near as stupid as admitting it to him. So as she smoothed out her long, golden hair, she bore her eyes into his, in a steady, calm stare. A stare that was supposed be emotionaless, if conveying any emotion at all, that of irritation. The night grew darker now, dusk sweeping across the sky, stars dimly trying to burst out of the darkening sky, through the forest trees. A chill had come into the air, slight, but prevelant. Chandra crossed her arms, running her fingers across the chills that burst up on them.
"We should go. Back to camp, that is." Her voice was slightly dull, and anticlamantic in spite of her last outburst. "I mean, the others will be missing us, making up nasty little rumours about us, yes? And I know you would just loathe that so much." Her voice hid whatever excitement she held inside of her, from his words, killing anything, any tone in her voice she might have. Any given speck of emotion she let out could burst, and explode. Give him more to mock. Oh you love that, though, you love that. I came into this horrible affair saying I would not not showmy true personality, my lying personality. But I shouldn't lie to myself, it goes deeper than that, so much deeper. The only time I ever feel truley with myself is when I am slaughtering them, that cold dark pleasure. That was when the girl exposed her true self, the dark, soul-less creature that she was. The one that's graceful walk turned even more smooth and thourough, that stood with such confidence and thingyiness that it seemed as though she could go out into the world with her killing. Whose smooth voice because icier, just like those light blue eyes that fixated on whatever victim fell upon her.
This prescence she had grew in size, her natural form becoming her when the blood washed agaisnt her naked breasts and stomach, splashed across that pretty, changing face. The form that she often hid from others, the one that she vowed never to show anyone again. It was the face she was born into, the skin she wore when her mother scolded her. And, it was, of course, the appearence she had when her first man fell upon her, wheh he took her childhood away. It was, in fact, that very day when she vowed to never, ever have any living form see that face again. It had just caused her enough trouble already.
The faces she wore were pretty, beautiful, graceful, and they would content men forever. So there would never be any need for it to returned. Chandra fixed her cold, icy eyes on Dmitri, her past rearing up in her mind. Not now, my lamb. You're truthful form isn't right for anyone to see. That form is dangerous. Don't you know that by now? Oh, no. She wouldn't reveal it, just yet.
Because as shallow as the girl was, she knew it wasn't the skin that hurt people, it was the way she trained herself to act with it.
- - -
OOC:// I am so sorry. >>